Do not fall in love with people like me
I will take you to museums and parks
and kiss you in every beautiful place
so that you can never go back to them
without tasting me like blood in your mouth
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible
and when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people
does anyone else ever get really stressed over assignments and know that you should be doing them but you feel like you physically can’t stop procrastinating and that just stresses you out even more or is that just me
Does it ever just freak you out that you can just do things?
I could walk out into this storm right now and never come home
I could eat a whole cake by myself if I wanted to
I could kiss a stranger on the street
The only things stopping me are the consequences, but if I weren’t aware of them I could do these things anyway.
YES EXACTLY ALL THE TIME
is it because I’m mixed
Okay never say that period pains aren’t that bad because one time I had an ovarian cyst that burst before they found it, and when the doctor saw how big it was, he asked me, “How were you not screaming in pain?”
And my response was, “Oh, I thought they were just cramps.”
I didn’t think it was working out because i didn’t feel i deserved you. you write so beautifully that its astounding and although your opinion was once all i cared about, you are using it to try and hurt me.
I told you from the start. Every other day, i told you i didn’t deserve you, that we wouldn’t last due to my lack of self-esteem, that i was a compulsive liar, because i have to hide from a lot of people what has happened. I told you I was selfish.
I never told you that the way you think is beautiful. The way you smile when youre sad is the bane of my existence. The way you always hid your blog from me and are picky about what you eat, and how you didnt always like to watch the movies i like to watch. You made feel beautiful. I knew i would never be able to repay you.
But I am so tired.
And I was raped, and i have daddy issues, no self-esteem, and im not really good at anything. I cant sing, or write a poem about how sorry i am for hurting you. And even if i could, you would still hate me.
You said yourself that one day you wont be hurting because of me. One day you will find a girl that understand you and what its all about to be transgendered, and she will know how to make you happy.
I lied, but that doesn’t mean i never loved you.
I lied, but that doesn’t mean I don’t regret it with all of the broken bits and pieces i have in me.
I lied, but please, dear god, don’t bully me.